oh the bad punning! And really it is bad punning, because although this post is about iron, it is not really ironic in an actual sense, more in the way that that Alanis Morrissette song was--which is to say not so much ironic, but more a series of annoying events--though I tend to think that the fact that most of the things described in the song are not actually ironic is pretty ironic in itself and thus makes the song kind of meta-ironic, which could be clever if that was the intention... but yes, I digress, iron levels, not so much ironic, not even particularly *bad* per se, but just really annoying.

I got another iron test the other day when I went for my midwife appointment just to make sure I was still on track, and despite having plied myself with copious amounts of iron supplements and vitamin C and making sure I am not taking other supplements that might compete for absorption at the same time my iron is actual *down* two points to 108! This isn't a huge deal--as long as my levels stay above 100 I am okay to go to the birth centre, but, considering I am already taking twice the usual dosage I was really hoping and genuinely expecting them to keep going slowly *upward* rather than downward. *Shakes fist iron repellent at body*

I had changed over to a liquid supplement (floridix), which was recommended by my midwife, plus a tablet (fab iron) when my last lot of tablets (haemogenics) had run out, but it looks like the original tablets were being absorbed better. So I have bought another lot of the haemogenics ones and am now taking them 3 times a day.

The biggest problem with this is that there seems to be something in them (salicylates maybe? they are green and kind of herbally...) that seems to be increasing my anxiety symptoms and making it hard to sleep and hard to get things done and probably a little hard to get along with if I am to be perfectly honest.

But I feel kind of stuck here, because I really need to take these tablets but also not lovin the anxiety (I had another liquid iron recommended by a friend, but whatever was in that sent me *completely* off, far far worse than the tablets, in a very aggressive 'don't touch me, don't even come near me, actually don't talk to me and stop making that breathing noise!' kind of way). It is a matter of finding the balance I suppose, and making sure that everything else I eat is extremely beige to counterbalance. But, you know, argh, it is kind of like a black fly in my chardonay...

Or not.

Hooray for no brain damage! I am very pleased that (except for some thickening of sinuses, but I think that is incidental and annoying rather than anything else)the MRI was all completely normal.

Less exciting is the fact that instead of becoming more understood, my condition seems to have become even vaguer, with the current diagnosis of "funny headaches". I have been given a referral to a neurologist, and also to the cardio testing place for a bubble test (to check for the very unlikely case of a small hole in the heart), but the Dr was very insistant that these are precautionary things and really not expecting anything to come from either course of action. I have been put on a preventative course of low dose daily aspirin as a trial (with the proviso that if salicylate symptoms start up I cease the trial). This will be interesting, because it might also indicate whether the salicylate symptoms are *actually* caused by salicylates, or rather by some incidental food intolerance to foods in the same group.

The best bit about this is that it means I have been cleared for the birth centre (iron problems aside, but as long as that keeps heading upward rather than downward it is all good too).

The worst bit was that once again, they mixed up my appointment booking and had me booked in with the Obs team instead of the medical team and then go all confused and left me waiting for 2 hours before they sorted it out. Once it was sorted they said that they will squeeze me in, but "the people who have appointments booked" have priority! So the result was that I left home for the hospital at 1pm yesterday, then left in time to pick up Baby_B met with A at the local Japanese restaurant (which was extremely yum!), dropped A and Baby_B at home without even going inside, turned around and went straight back to hospital for the breathing and body class that I was booked in for, getting home at 8.30pm.

So 7 and a half hours and $30 worth of parking later I made it home just in time for Spics and Specks, which was pretty funny last night I thought, and The Chaser--which was not quite as good as last weeks, but thankfully way way better than the the first two weeks which nearly caused me to stop watching all together. I do wish they would drop the "fast forward" style skit stuff and stick with hassling politicians though.

So in the end I feel a little disappointed, because I really did feel like I was getting somewhere after the last appointment and my hopes for clues this time were definitely raised. But now I am back to just having a bunch of vague symptoms--that while definitely seem to be triggered by food and a few other things, have no obvious cause.

Most likely probably not. I am going in to see the medical team this afternoon to discuss results of my MRI and blood tests. I didn't receive an urgent phone call after the MRI, so I am guessing that was all fine--or at least fine enough not to need urgent action, so that is a huge win.

It is probably a good day for me to go in and see the Drs as I am having a fairly highly symptomatic day--complete lack of upper body strength, slight shakiness in my hands and arms, took 3 goes to get my internet bank user and PIN combo correct, that sort of thing. No actual migraine pain though, which is great.

So I am expecting to get a diagnosis of 'some kind of migraine thing', which, while probably one of the better things to have in terms of health and longevity, is also a double edged sword. The problem is, in a lot of ways diagnosis=bad, because, well, it could mean I have something horrible, something incurable, something that will will mean deterioration and debilitation and, you know, general badness. But then on the other hand in some ways diagnosis=relief, it means hope of cure and at the very least significant clues to best management. That label (and if I have something I have it with or without a label so I may as well know) means a greater chance of self acceptance and understanding on bad days (though I earnestly try to do this for myself now anyway) and also short hand to be able to explain to others what is going on with me.

Diagnosis day coupled with 90 million dollar lotto night has me thinking a lot today about what I really want out of my life--be it long or short--and that seems to include travel and lots of conventions. Not just SF cons, though I do love those and Wiscon is certainly on the mid-future agenda, but conferences of all sorts where people come together to present papers and share ideas are definitely the places I love the best. Also spending lots of time in the tropics seems to be a reoccurring theme for my imagination. There are a whole lot of other things too, but it is time to go to the Drs, so they will have to wait for later.

In the mean time, if you feel like sharing, feel free to tell me what you would like to be doing with the rest of your life given the right conditions.

I have opened up the first month's reading club discussion on Joanna Russ' The Female Man over here on my dreamwidth page. I am using DW because I would like the reading club to be open to all and I prefer to keep this journal more as a contact space for those who know me personally. All who are interested are welcome to participate--I believe you can log in to dreamwidth using your LJ ID, or, if you would like a DW code let me know.

I had a midwife appointment this morning and asked for a repeat blood test so I could see if the 'iron therapy' was having any effect. She was very pleased to call me and let me know that my hemoglobin (I thought it was feritin, but that is what she said...) was up from 102 to 112. This is a great improvement apparently (though I have to admit it doesn't sound like a big jump to me, I am have no real sense of the scale they are working on).

Thanks everyone who offered suggestions in my last post on the subject. I have doubled my dose, started taking added vitamin C with the iron, and stopped taking calcium supplements or high calcium foods at the same time. This seems to be working, even if it is not a huge leap number wise the number *is* moving in an upward rather than downward direction, so it is definitely a victory.

I think I may need to revisit my mineral intake now, I cut back on both the calcium and magnesium simply because I was finding it so hard taking everything at separate times of the day and iron has been my priority. But I just noticed that as I type this I am craving plain rock salt again. I also had a leg cramp last night. Me thinks all these things are likely related.

I seem to be nesting at the moment. A and I made a list of things we need for the baby, not a big list at all really, includes some clothes, some wraps, some cloth nappies, an extra gro-bag, a hammock and a co-sleep bed--half of which we have already. We have booked a car capsule to hire for 6 months, which is something we didn't have last time but I think will be really useful. I have decided that I will make most of the baby clothes we still need--I have been making clothes for myself and baby_b recently and really enjoying it so I figure I will just keep up the trend.

I have been looking at bulk baby clothes lots on ebay as well and one thing I can say is that clothes marked 'boys' are at once dull and jarring and clothes marked 'girls' are down right insipid. Very few lots are marked unisex. Definitely going to be a case of make your own here. I am thinking of using a colour pallet based on white, cream, green, and sand. Maybe with a bit of red or watermelon thrown in for zing. I am also thinking that tops and pants will be the go this time, rather than all in ones--I found this tutorial pretty inspiring. Since it is going to be winter I think I will make some of these using recycled woolen jumpers rather than t-shirts, which means I will also be able to make leggings out of the arm pieces too.

I have a midwife appointment tomorrow and I am going to ask for another iron test, just so I can see if my intensive iron therapy has been having any effect or if I need to change tactic. I was thinking about this today and I find it ironic that I am being told I have so many health concerns right now, because truth be told I think I feel the healthiest I ever have in my life to this point.

I have found myself sucked into evil fb games a little bit of late, usually beginning with the thought "I just have five minutes to spare". Sometimes five minutes is five minutes and sometimes five minutes turns to half an hour, but either way one thing I am sure of is that these five minuteses could be better spent. Now I am not saying they all have to be constructive productive uses of time--rest and recreation is important, but usually after these games I feel drained and like I have wasted time rather than recouperated, so I think that this is a habit best changed. So now I am wondering, how could I better use these small pockets of time? An important consideration is that they are not quality pockets of time--they are usually when other people are around and other things are happening, so things that require particular concerntration like in depth reading or writing are out. Minimal set up/pack up time is good too.


(  Things I am thinking might make better use of these times: )

What do you do with your spare five minuteses?

Okay, now I am starting to get worried. Too early to start stockpiling food and stop going out in public?

( I decided to go the birth centre route and felt happy and confident with my decision. Of course, things don't always go to plan... )

So that turned out to be much longer than I thought it would. In conclusion, I have high cholesterol, low iron, and maybe some yet to be diagnosed neurological condition and I may or may not be allowed to birth at the birth centre. One of the biggest problems with this is the uncertainty. If I *do* get excluded from the birth centre, the later in the pregnancy (and it is already quite late in obstetric terms) I get kicked out the more it limits my options for where to have this baby. Free birthing on the bathroom floor is starting to look real good.

Let's start next month (June) with Joanna Russ, The Female Man, as that one looks like it will be more readily available than Woman on the Edge of Time (which is out of print), and if people could have a look out for second hand copies of the Marge Piercy we can consider it for July.

Suggested WA sources for The Female Man: Murdoch library, UNISFA library, Fantastic Planet bookshop, secondhand bookshops, or be nice to either neleh13 or fredmouse :)

I have asked my city library if there is any chance of getting any of the texts in and am waiting for a response. Will start looking for them all at secondhand bookshops.

I am really inspired by eng592: Women in Science Fiction, a course being taught by Dr Sharon Collingwood at Ohio State University. She also teaches Women Culture and Society--a course that takes place in Second Life.

I am not really in a position to go to Ohio Uni at the moment, but I thought it might be fun to go through the sylibus and have a monthly discussion on each of the texts.

The required texts as listed on the units webpage are:

Woman on the Edge of Time, Marge Piercy (Fawcett 0449210820)
The Female Man, Joanna Russ (Beacon 0807062995)
Les Guerillieres, Monique Wittig and David LeVay (University of Illinois Press 0252074823)
Native Tongue, Suzette Haden Elgin (The Feminist Press at CUNY1558612467)
The Door Into Ocean, Joan Slonczewski (Orb 0312876521)
Lilith's Brood , Octavia Butler (Grand Central Publishing 0446676101)

Daughters of Earth: Feminist Science Fiction in the Twentieth Century
ed. Justine Larbalestier. (Wesleyan University Press 0819566764)

My suggestion is that,beginning with June, we read one per month in the order listed and then in the last week of the month I will open up a discussion page on this journal for anyone interested to discuss the text.

What do you think?
 

Spoilers for most recent season
( under the cut )

Not sure about the mass migration to dreamwidth, I am still waiting to see what happens, but I have made an account out of interest and just in case*. I have two invite codes going if you would like to do the same.


*in case everyone does move and I get left behind--or it is the only surviving media in the wake of the zombie apocalypse...

Sometimes I really love and appreciate myself. And one of those times is when I can reach into the freezer and pull out a frozen meal for one of delicious nutritious rice and stew, whack it in the microwave and present myself with satisfying fully cooked lunch. Because there are days when I would find it hard to feed myself any other way. Thanks self from the past! Your forethought and planning has looked after me when I needed it the most*.

Spent part of the afternoon so far hanging out on a picnic blanket in the back yard with my laptop doing PhD work, while watching my lovely scruffy teenage chickens free range near by. They are all motley at the moment, and remind me of young men with bad teenage mustaches. They are not quite downy anymore yet not quite feathered either. The answer to my question "I wonder if that is itchy for them" seems to have been answered today as I watched them find little patches of dry dirt and rub and roll themselves in the ground. Yep, I think it probably is.


*nothing is wrong, I just get kind of engrossed in what I am doing sometimes and forget to eat. I then realise that I am very hungry and have probably had some kind of blood sugar drop that seems to rend me incapable of the care and feeding of self. So, bless you past self and also whoever invented the freezer westinghouse? kevinator?). And, um, thanks electricity guy as well.

Happy Mothers Day all my motherly friends! Being a mother has given me so many life enriching gifts, not the least of which are the special relationships I have been blessed with due to shared circumstances. There are many wonderful women I have known in the periphery of my life, and in recent years we have been given the opportunity to know each other better and to support each other through our experiences. To those who have struggled to become mothers, and all of us who struggle at times being mothers, but continue on in love, I salute you.

Cheers mums!

I want to do some t shirts for 52 acts, and I am looking for a cafe press style set up, but it would be great if they had a direct from/to Australia option, as well as America and other countries rather than everyone getting everything shipped from the US (the exchange rate being less that attractive currently).

Redbubble seems to fit, but they appear to be marketing themselves as more of a 'show your art' space that a t shirt shop as such.

Anyone used redbubble or something similar they would recommend?

Actually they arrived on Wednesday afternoon, a day ahead of schedule, because another parent had already grabbed most of the black ones, so I thought I better get in quick. Bigger post with images over here at the Saucy Sisters blog.

Baby_B's daycare centre have had Henny Penny chickens hatching this week. After the chicks have performed their cute hatching on demand act they are free to a good home. Apparently there is no way to easily tell the sex of the chicks after the first day (until they are about 8 weeks old) so we have decided to grab half a dozen and freecycle the roosters to a good home (or belly) when they are a bit older.

According to the Henny Penny website the chicks are all good egg laying breeds--hybrids of austrolorp, leghorns, sussex and lohmanns.

I am very excited--I have wanted chickens for ages, it was even part of our lease agreement (signed nearly 6 months ago) that we be allowed to keep a couple of chooks, but haven't quite managed it so far.

So, apart from a trip down the coast to see the wiggles this weekend will be all about manuring and mulching the veggie gardens and working on a chicken coop. Hooray for self-sufficiency and fresh eggs in the upcoming influenza apocalypse of doom!

I am looking to find (paid) advice about the best way to manage my finances. The kinds of things I am looking to know are things like 'is buying a house a good idea on our current budget?' and 'how can we best utilise the money we are earning?', you know, basic stuff like that. So does anyone have any advice about who would be the best person to see about that stuff? A general accountant? Some kind of financial planner? The only person I have ever seen about this stuff was a financial adviser employed by my bank branch, and I feel that they were not independent enough to give me the advice I wanted without bias towards investing the money I had in their institution.

Well, it looks like travel is unlikely to be a very beige experience. I have been in WA less than 24 hours and--despite fairly conservative but delicious food choices (chef hans how I missed you!) I already have a migraine. At this stage it seems to include a headache and a substantial reduction of function of my left side limbs. The headache part will be managable with plain old panadol, but I do expect to be a bit vague and to probably drop things a bit.

I am still really really looking forward to the con and the ton of panels I am on this evening, and having lots and lots of conversations with wonderful people. The only thing I ask is that people forgive my slight vaguness and that you don't get upset if I can't remember your name, even if I have known you for the past 10 years or so--it is not personal, and I still know who you are, it is just that nouns are not my forte when I am like this.

See you all soon!